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Aug. 3rd, 2010 11:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
numbered_doctorThirteen had been distracted for the better part of the week as things churn in her mind's eye, earning curious [and in House's case, suspicious] looks from her co-workers as she fumbles her way through the work days.
Since Cubefall in Milliways things have been weighing on her mind. She and Lisa had talked and despite reassurances that things would be tweaked and changed they more or less stayed the same between the two doctors.
So now, she finds herself in much the same position as she had when she asked Lisa out the first time: standing outside her office door after hours, with a dry mouth, sweaty palms, and her heart in her throat. She knocks hesitantly, and as Lisa's voice calls her in from within the office, she wipes her hands on her pants before stepping inside.
"Hey," Thirteen says softly as she enters the room, closing the door behind her. She turns to look at her lover, immediately has to tighten her resolve as Lisa smiles that fond smile she knows all too well. "We need to talk."
Lisa's smile turns apologetic and Thirteen watches as the woman folds her hands on the desk in front of her, knowing exactly what the older woman is going to say. "Remy, I have to finish going over these reports, we can talk-"
"When you get home, I know," Thirteen says, cutting her off and grabbing a tight hold on her frustration. "Lisa, I'm not going to be there when you get home."
"Then to-"
"I won't be there tomorrow, either, or the next day." It's true, Thirteen had packed up what belongings she had been keeping at Lisa's house this morning before she left for work [long after Lisa had already been out the door], and made her tearful goodbye to Rachel.
"Remy, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I can't do this anymore," Thirteen replies with forced evenness. "I'm tired coming in last on your list of day to day things."
"We c-"
"When's the last time we spent time together?" Thirteen asks, cutting Lisa off as her frustration gains momentum and bottled things come out. "And I don't mean sex, I mean you and I, sitting and talking, maybe having dinner together. Cubefall. Do you remember saying you'd cut back on the hours at all? Or how you mentioned taking off for a weekend? Nothing's happened, and I'm fairly certain nothing will." Her next words are much softer, and she looks down at the floor as she says them. "I'm sorry, Lis, but I can't. I just can't anymore, and this won't work if you're not there."
Thirteen chances a glance upwards, only to have something in her heart twinge painfully as she sees the stricken look on Cuddy's face. "I'm sorry," she repeats again, finding herself blinking rapidly.
"So am I," Lisa says softly from her desk, and Thirteen as to force herself to turn around towards the door.
"I'll see you," Thirteen says just as softly, her hand pausing on the doorknob. "Take care of yourself."
And with that, she steps back out of the office, her heart aching and in desperate need of a drink.
Since Cubefall in Milliways things have been weighing on her mind. She and Lisa had talked and despite reassurances that things would be tweaked and changed they more or less stayed the same between the two doctors.
So now, she finds herself in much the same position as she had when she asked Lisa out the first time: standing outside her office door after hours, with a dry mouth, sweaty palms, and her heart in her throat. She knocks hesitantly, and as Lisa's voice calls her in from within the office, she wipes her hands on her pants before stepping inside.
"Hey," Thirteen says softly as she enters the room, closing the door behind her. She turns to look at her lover, immediately has to tighten her resolve as Lisa smiles that fond smile she knows all too well. "We need to talk."
Lisa's smile turns apologetic and Thirteen watches as the woman folds her hands on the desk in front of her, knowing exactly what the older woman is going to say. "Remy, I have to finish going over these reports, we can talk-"
"When you get home, I know," Thirteen says, cutting her off and grabbing a tight hold on her frustration. "Lisa, I'm not going to be there when you get home."
"Then to-"
"I won't be there tomorrow, either, or the next day." It's true, Thirteen had packed up what belongings she had been keeping at Lisa's house this morning before she left for work [long after Lisa had already been out the door], and made her tearful goodbye to Rachel.
"Remy, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I can't do this anymore," Thirteen replies with forced evenness. "I'm tired coming in last on your list of day to day things."
"We c-"
"When's the last time we spent time together?" Thirteen asks, cutting Lisa off as her frustration gains momentum and bottled things come out. "And I don't mean sex, I mean you and I, sitting and talking, maybe having dinner together. Cubefall. Do you remember saying you'd cut back on the hours at all? Or how you mentioned taking off for a weekend? Nothing's happened, and I'm fairly certain nothing will." Her next words are much softer, and she looks down at the floor as she says them. "I'm sorry, Lis, but I can't. I just can't anymore, and this won't work if you're not there."
Thirteen chances a glance upwards, only to have something in her heart twinge painfully as she sees the stricken look on Cuddy's face. "I'm sorry," she repeats again, finding herself blinking rapidly.
"So am I," Lisa says softly from her desk, and Thirteen as to force herself to turn around towards the door.
"I'll see you," Thirteen says just as softly, her hand pausing on the doorknob. "Take care of yourself."
And with that, she steps back out of the office, her heart aching and in desperate need of a drink.
